kraziishiz defines life…

…And just like that, another year has gone by.

I’m sitting here wondering what I have accomplished this year. Going through each month, I’m pulling some memories back on this eventful year.

January – Just the holidays, a great way to relax and not give a damn about another year at university. Thank God I was actually attending the main campus at least half the time now – it would give me more opportunities to meet more wonderful people.

February – I did Peer Networking which allowed me to engage in university activities. Meeting some of the most outgoing and amazing people I’ll ever meet in my life. Meeting the PPG there. You guys have made everything worthwhile – I don’t think I could imagine a life without PN right now. Ever since that first Orientation, my life has changed and I am so thankful.

March – IT’S WONG FU TIME! I went and saw Wong Fu’s show at UNSW’s Science Theatre. It was awksome – sitting in the front row, watching and taking in their stories… seeing their point of view. I am so grateful that they continually release videos and engage the audience with their stories. WF4L.

April – All I can remember from this month was the pure agony from university, haha. The amount of studying I would have to do – FIS was hell. However, the only redeeming part would probably have to be my birthday. An intimate celebration surrounded by those who really make me happy.

May – Stress. I was drowning in a few subjects but I had chances to redeem myself. Some of the subjects at the time were alright – I could deal, but some were just insane. Exams were approaching and it was just hell. I met Jayesslee at their concert – working the event was fun and the concert was great.

June – Exams. Everything hit at once, but I’m glad the exams were over. Japanese was much harder than expected and without the foundation that they would have laid out in the previous units, I struggled. Nonetheless, exams were over and YAY – HOLIDAYS WERE NEXT!

July – My first solo (with friend) trip to the Gold Coast. Wow, that was quite the experience. Staying at Jupiters Casino and Resort and watching Jabbawockeez was surreal. It was great pointing out the moves that I’ve seen on so many videos and seeing it in reality. A wonderful show, though I wished I could’ve met them backstage or something. 😦 It was great without the constant harassment by my parents to do something for them. Everything was for me. It felt wonderful.

August – Back to uni. There’s only so much that you can escape from. Spring Orientation was boring this time around. Too many people and not enough tasks – nonetheless, it was so much fun seeing the people from the previous one and meeting new volunteers.

September – Insomnia and I AM MOS WANTED TOUR. After suffering an insane amount of insomnia that I missed multiple shifts at work and skipping lessons at university, I worked the event of I AM MOS WANTED TOUR in Sydney. Meeting I aM mE backstage, chilling with Emilio (God, he is super chill and amazing) and chatting with Chachi’s Momma, it really made this month so much more than it was. I am so thankful that I got to work backstage and meet these wonderful people. JP Goldstein from Mos Wanted – you are a charmer!

October – Studying and attempting to maintain jobs… as well as take on my role as executive for a society that I have been a part of. There was so much on my plate at the time and I sometimes wish that I didn’t take part – but hey, it’s all about management. Careful management would mean something amazing would come out of it. I got elected to be President of said society at the end of the month… although not graciously taken, I took up the position. Regretted it since.

November –  Exams led to cramming and writing six essays in two hours. Oh the pain that my arm experienced after that! After suffering from exams, I worked the A-Team Tour event in Sydney that featured Victor Kim, Andrew Garcia, Lil Crazed, J. Reyez, JRA, Brian Puspos, Auburn, Traphik and Ricky Shucks. Although the event wasn’t successful, I did everything I could as a volunteer to make their lives a little easier. I found out all the shit that went on backstage and that seeing them backstage changed my view on a few of them. That somewhat disappointed me, but hey. A year with Victor Kim – always a year worth celebrating! 😀

December… finally we’re here. I’ve had an event packed first half of the month – meeting with friends, spending time with those that have been around with me and just having fun. It’s been a blast. The second half was the complete opposite! I’ve worked at least 6 days a week in the second half and the work is still continuing. It’s crazy. I didn’t work that much throughout semester and now that it’s holidays – I’m working like there is no tomorrow. Beyond insane. I am very thankful though, to have a job, to have friends, to have those that care for me around, those that love me, those that hate me, those that are somewhere in between. Although I’ve had my ups and downs, I assure you, I am still the same. I lose it sometimes but I find my way back. I find myself again and start over.

After a krazii year that I’ve had, I don’t know what to expect next year. I know that I won’t be seeing any YouTubers unless I pay to see them (not that it ever stopped me) and that I’ll be attempting to spend less from now on. I’m saving up for that year in Japan and 2014 will be a year to remember. As for now, 2013 – I hope you’re everything and more. I hope that you’ll be better than the last – but I don’t think you can out-do 2012. It has been a great year, and I’ll never forget it.

I know there’s probably no-one reading this, but hey. I just wanted to re-cap my year. If you’re reading this – what was your most memorable moment of 2012? What will it take for 2013 to beat 2012? What would you want to happen in 2013?

Signing off.

Hoping to bring a little krazii in your day. 🙂

Darkness.

Don’t be afraid of the dark. Don’t be scared to walk into it. But what happens when you walk in and fall?

There’s a darkness about me that I fear sometimes. It consumes me and what am I left with? There’s nothing there.

I don’t even know where to begin. This is probably the cause of my insomnia. One day, it might come back and haunt me. Sometimes I wish I wasn’t so insecure. Why. Lately these mood swings have definitely gotten to me. I fade back to black and I just want to cry my heart out.

Darkness.